She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
