Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
