White coat. Heels.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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