i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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