My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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