you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
