I'm pants shitting drunk right now
North Korea, Best Korea!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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