So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
