i think my tv is drunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
