I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
