well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
