i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mom said you looked used
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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