i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
