we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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