I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
