Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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