we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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