SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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