You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
