To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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