you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
