I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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