i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
