when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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