Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
