i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
