Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
