The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
