so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
