need another drink. this is the easiest way
your room smells of hookers.
And success
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
