I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sorry about my life...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
