He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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