he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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