The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
