u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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