Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
