if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
