It's like God shit irony all over that family
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
