I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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