We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
