I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
