Christians are straight up FREAKS
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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