If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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