is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
