A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
