started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
