Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why do cheetos always look like penises
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
