The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
