I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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