Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
